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Orange Beach...Wife Songs and McNudists

Nov 29 | Posted by: Bill Whyte |

Another spring like day here in Nashville. Meanwhile there's a snow "white out" in Hawaii.  I tend to forget that the elevation at the top of the Big Island is like 9,200 feet.  I do know that long underwear under a grass skirt is not a great look.



I had great fun joining my friend Gerald Smith to write at his publishing company.  Gerald had just been to down Orange Beach in Alabama for the same songwriter festival I'd been to...and on the way down sang a "beach song" idea with a melody into his phone that was very fun...so we wrote that idea.  It's always easier for me to write when there's a good idea on the table...and that's certainly what happened here.  You don't hear the word "orange" in songs for a good reason.  There is no rhyme for the word "orange".  So we made sure the line never wound up at the end of any line so we wouldn't have to worry about it.  It was just a very fun time hanging and rhyming with someone who's done this for a very long time.



It's an interesting process...writing original songs...poems...books...etc.  And sometimes you write towards things you would have never thought of tackling.  I've written commercial jingles, had a couple songs used in small independent movies, written "sports" related song...ESPN used one of those a long time ago...and I like not knowing what the writing day will bring.


Case in point...I got an e-mail from someone who wants to know if I will write and record a song about his wife for a gift.  A mutual friend of ours suggested me to him.  I've never done that before but I'm game for anything.  All I know is it will be an interesting process...getting to know his wife that way...and then trying to write something that she and he will both love.  I'm thinking songs I've written like "Trailer Park Sexy" and "If I Had Boobs" is not going to work for this.  But I'll let ya know how it turns out when it's done.



Ever been asked by your friends "seen any good movies lately"? Or "who's your favorite singer"?  I've learned to remind folks before I give an opinion on food, music, movies etc....that it's just what I like.  That's because tastes are so different.  I can be crazy about something and then the next person may absolutely hate it. I also get asked a fair amount, "when I come to Nashville what should I see...where should I go"?  I can only hope some of those suggestions I've given appealed to them while they were visiting Music City.


With that said...I have loved a couple of PBS specials lately both of them bout The Beatles.   The first one digs into digging why Rolling Stone has named it the "all time" greatest album which was really interesting to me.  But...if you don't like the Beatles or you're not really into music...it may not appeal to you.




And then last night I watched "8 Days A Week" for a second time...the movie Ron Howard produced that concentrated on a lot of the "live" performances of the Fab 4.  It pretty well documents why the Beatles stopped playing concerts as their shows turned into screaming, shoving, fighting, passing out full on mania events.  The benefit of that to true music lovers is that it drove those four young guys into the studio full time where they broke all the rules and just played around finding new sounds and giving us timeless music that will last forever.  For me it was fascinating to see how they came up with new sounds and riffs that are iconic today.  But...again...that's what I like.  You're amount of "like" may vary.



The Grammy nominations came out yesterday.  Congrats to all.  Country artists were largely overlooked this time around without one being nominated in any of the big "all genre" categories.  It happens.  The country name that pops up the most looks to be Chris Stapleton who's been on a major role ever since that moment he and Justin Timberlake destroyed this George Jones classic that Dean Dillon penned.  We'll find out who the trophies go to January 28 on CBS.  This award is voted by your peers...and is the most coveted award any musician, singer, writer can receive.  Which is why I'm still so humbled after being a small part of a Grammy winner last year.








Ole Rudolph was on TV last night.  Classic.  Still love the voice of Burl Ives as the singing snowman.  Our tree is up here at the Whyte House...and we are ready to start trimming later today.  Here's hoping the dang lights all work this year!  And...if you've never heard FRUSTRATION over Christmas lights...listen to this funny song "The 12 Pains Of Christmas" that a radio friend Bob Rivers recorded years ago.  It's pretty danged funny because it's pretty danged true.


Keep this statistic in mind for Christmas...said Scrooge.  Last year 9 million packages were stolen for doorsteps.  Uh huh.  And with Amazon products arriving daily there may be room for some kind of invention that UPS and Fed Ex can use to insure that the package can't get stolen.  I'll be looking for someone to pitch that on Shark Tank soon.



A lot of families will gather around tables to play board games during the holidays.  Get this.  Monopoly?  Apparently someone found a rule that's overlooked by many.  The rule is..."if a player lands on a property and does not want to buy it...the bank must then auction it off to the highest bidder amongst the other players".  Who knew?  But I do think that would make the game even more interesting...just like the inventor planned I'm sure. 


Wonder if there's an overlooked rule for those that "Pokemon Go" to shut off that app while driving?



I love Pensacola...I'm there quite a bit because it's near Gulf Shores.  Love going over the Naval Air Museum...home of the Blue Angels.  Love "McGuires' the Irish restaurant with dollar bills hanging from the ceiling, home made root beer, great food and tricky bathrooms.  It's also home to a GREAT looking minor league ballpark that sits on the ocean for the Pensacola Blue Wahoos.  And the beaches are beautiful too.


But...I've never thought of Pensacola having a traffic congestion problem so badly that folks would pay to fly to work in one of the "Air Taxi's" that may be introduced to that market soon.  And maybe this is something we'll see lots of in the future...to go along with driverless cars.  Wonder if that means "self flying air taxi's" may also be a thing of the future? For now...an Air Taxi flight in Pensacola would make for a very short commute...but...with beautiful views out of the windows.



Arby's has just bought Buffalo Wild Wings.  Here's a bold prediction.  Look for BWW to change it's slogan to..."We've Got The Wings".



That would be a butt tattoo.  Apparently those are gaining in popularity.  Uh huh.  I don't see me getting Spring Break drunk and having some ink put on my tuckus but if I do...it will be creative.  Maybe I'd stamp "If You Can Read This...You're Too Close". 



The problem of course with a tattoo is that they're hard to get rid of if you go down that road.  That's why my comedian friend Heywood Banks line about them is so funny to me.  He says, "Two things about getting a tattoo.  First...be sober.  Second...enunciate". 


However...if you believe everything you read...they are saying good ole duct tape can remove a wart.  It only hurts once.  I have a "Duct Tape" song I wrote with Gary Cavanaugh who recorded it and plays it almost every time he plays anywhere.  One of the lines joking says "if you've got a MOLE on your face...duct tape works great".   Little did I know I was ahead of my time when that thought came along.



Folks here at Vanderbilt Hospital are experimenting using nicotine patches for those with early memory loss in hopes that they might be helpful holding off full blown Alzheimer's.  It's just test studies right now but they have reason to think it's worth trying.  What a blessing that could be for so many.  Fingers crossed.



"Police In Australia Looking For Four Men Who Walked Into A McDonald's Naked".  Gives a whole new alarming thought about "McNuggets"...at least for me. 



Nothing special today.  Catching up on stuff...trimming a tree...and trying to figure out if I can write anything decent about another man's wife.  We'll see


Have a great Wednesday!




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