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A Beach Tune...CMA Fest...10 Items or Less

Jun 13 | Posted by: Bill Whyte |

Monday morning has rolled around again. And the heat is cranking up into the 90’s. In fact, we’re going to get close to a humid 100 degrees here today in Twang Town. More than 70 million American are under heat alert warnings today.

 

THE WEEKEND

Mine started Friday morning with a writing session with Aubrey Wollett and my long-time buddy Steve Dean at my publishing company. Aubrey lives near Tampa, but was in town for CMA Fest, which just wrapped up and scheduled an appointment. Aubrey in flip flop deep in the Trop Rock movement and does a lot of shows with a Trop Rock flavor. So it was no surprise that she brought a “beachy” type song idea that the three of us wrote together Friday morning. I see and have performed at least once with Audrey in that Trop Rock scene, and Steve had written with her more than once several years ago. And on top of that, the creative director of my publishing company had also worked with Audrey when Audrey was an intern for Skyline Records back in the day. Joe Dan Cornett worked with a group on that label called “Stealing Angels” and Audrey was the intern in that building. Proof again that it’s a small world sometimes.

 

NOT FATHERS DAY

For some reason I thought it was Father’s Day weekend this past weekend. Wrong. It’s this coming weekend instead. In fact I blogged about it being Father’s Day this past weekend a couple of times. Just want to thank everyone for not alerting me to what a moron I was. So, you’ve got all week now to come up with something other than a tie for good ole Dad.

 

CMA FEST

Another sign that we’re in a better place with COVID is the fact that CMA Fest was indeed held again here in Nashville. Big crowds were back. A lot of money went back into our local economy as tourists spend a lot of dough when they come here. And a popular item they ALWAYS buy when they come to town?  Boots. They say it was shoulder to shoulder crowds trying to get into Boot Country on Lower Broadway to take advantage of their “Buy a Pair, Get a Pair” free offer that’s a staple there. Thank you pumping up our economy and have a safe trip home y’all.

 

SONGS PERFORMED

I didn’t get near CMA Fest this year, but I was glad to see a couple of my songs were heard during the festival. My friends Darin & Brooke Aldridge had a show at the Glen Campbell Museum and not only played the “Grand Ole Circle” song that we wrote, and they recorded and made a video of, but they also talked a bit about the writing of that song before the performed it. Check it out.

 

And then Jenny Tolman played CMA Fest yesterday and someone caught a bit of her singing “I Know Some Cowboys” that I wrote with Jenny and her husband-producer Dave Brainard who you’ll see playing guitar and singing harmony in this clip. Thanks guys!

 

TOBY KEITH

Thinking positive thoughts for Toby Keith who announced he’s been battling stomach cancer for the last 6 months with chemo and radiation and surgery. The report is, “So far so good”. And certainly his fans hope and pray that’s the case. I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing Toby a few times. Once on his bus before a show where we laughed about what he calls “bus” songs. Songs like this one. Get better Toby.

 

SIGN

FYI…if I ever open a plastic surgery place, I’m going to steal that brand I mentioned above and put it on a sign outside the door. “Buy a Pair, Get a Pair Free”!

 

SPEAKING OF THE ECONOMY

It now costs us $460 a MONTH more than it used to because of inflation. Wow. Already articles are available to help you decide what to cut out of your budget, or what others have already cut out of their budgets. Meanwhile, the national average for a gallon of gas is now $5. It’s getting real. And on the heels of that news the President comes out and says that inflation could last for a while. Just what you wanted to hear right?

 

One Minnesota gas station owner felt so guilty about his high gas prices that he posted a sign that reads, “We Hate Our Gas Prices Too.” And a station owner in Massachusetts stopped selling gas at his station to protest prices that he says are “robbing the American public”.

 

A lot of us did a lot of work online from home during the pandemic. Some employers have been encouraging their staff to return to the office to work. With inflation? I see more folks wanting to stay home to work to save money on gas.

 

ECONOMIC JOKE

“I wish I had enough money to buy an elephant.”

 

“What on earth do you need an elephant for”?

 

“I don’t. I just need the money.”

 

VIRUS NOTES

The US will no longer require COVID testing for flyers coming to the US. More and more countries are dropping their restrictions…finally.

 

The FDA staff released a statement saying the Pfizer vaccines are both safe and effective for small children.

 

A comedian jokes that the virus is the best thing that could have happened to him because he says, his wife doesn’t want to travel. She doesn’t want to buy anything because everything is made in China. She doesn’t go to the mall for being infected. And he claims his wife spends all day and night with her mouth covered. And finally he claims, “This is not a virus! It is a plan of salvation!”

 

THEM AND US

Britney Spears wore a diamond thong during her wedding dance recently. I couldn’t afford one, so at my wedding I had to dance in a zirconium thong.

 

CHECKOUT

So some guy goes viral at a grocery store for yelling at a grocery store cashier for letting a customer come through the “10 Items Or Less” line with 50 items. Or so he shouted. Most grocery clerks never say anything, especially if you’re sneaking through with 12 or 15 items. But 50? 

 

I’ve decided the 10 items or less line is a lot like getting or not getting a speeding ticket. How many mph over the limit can you go before the red light shows up in your rear-view mirror?

 

DIGITAL PLATES

Folks who live in Michigan will be the first in the country installing digital license plates. You can choose between a dark and lite mode on your plate, and you can even have a personalized banner at the bottom that folks can read behind you. AKA…” You’re Too Close”!  And then you’re also allowed to renew you license on an app. No mail, no DMV line. Progress. Sign me up!

 

If I’m allowed to get one my banner is going to read “10 Items Or Less”.

 

PARENTAL TWEET (funny…from a Mom)

I made my bed and found a half-eaten stick of butter in it. When I ask my child if she put anything in Mommy’s bed, she said, “I did not put butter in it.” The mystery continues. More at 11.

 

TODAY

I have a morning writing appointment with Jerry Salley at my publishing company. We’ll be finishing up a funny bluegrass thought today. Anytime you have a job that requires laughing? That’s a pretty good job to have.

 

Have a great Monday!

 

 

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