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No Coffee...Rattlers...New Date

Mar 21 | Posted by: Bill Whyte |

A bit of an ominous start to this Thursday as my Starbuck barista told me their coffee machines had blown up and they had no coffee.  And…I got the oddest look when I asked if they could just boil some water and stir up some Taster’s Choice.



Did you see it?  That Superworm Moon or whatever they call it?  It was hard to miss driving and that’s a good thing because I just never look up for whatever reason.  At least not at the stars and moon and focus on it.  A person probably should go out on the deck at night or spread a blanket and be reminded again what a big place we are part of.


I remember when I was young and in school in Missouri going to the St. Louis Planetarium for the first time.  That big ole telescope shooting the stars up on the ceiling was magical on that school trip I was part of.  And another indoor look at the heavens that I love is on the Epcot Ball ride at Disney World when the cars you are being transported on turn backwards and you are looking at a gigantic super sized moon with stars that will make your mouth drop open.


So in order for me to look up at the amazing night sky…I need to be indoors apparently.



I wrote a parody song that was all about those of us who did not win the Powerball last night for my NY folks.  So yes…I spent some time writing about me being a loser. Over 550 million in the jackpot.  Then the rest of my Hump Day was catch up stuff and getting outside on a clear blue sky to take a walk.


Now this walk was memorable…and this is a true story.  I’m walking around a little man made body of water.  I’m on one side of the water when two ladies show up…one in bib overalls and they are kneeling down on the bank looking at some little wooden formations.  The one in her Osh Kosh wear yells across at me in her big southern accent, “Hey…is this where the turtles live”?!  Safe to say…that’s the first time I’ve ever had that question shouted at me.  I did not break stride but pointed to a condo complex over her back shoulder and kept walking.  She’s still amazed to find out that turtles live in condos.



And I got word yesterday of another “Evening In The Round” show with Linda Davis, Lang Scott and me that will be in Adams-Friendship Wisconsin in March of 2020.  That’s a Friday night and on Saturday we’ll do a show in Carthage, Illinois.  It’s always fun for me to go back to Wisconsin after having lived there for six years.  Beautiful state.  And I know where to find the cheese curds.  For details on all my shows check the calendar here on the website.



Now…I don’t care for snakes…and that’s putting it mildly.  I LOVE Arizona…especially Northern Arizona where the hiking trails make you feel like you’re walking in a water color painting.  But…there are rattlers…and scorpions and that is is why my wife reminds me we can’t live there.  Yesterday my hiking-author buddy Roger Naylor came up on a big rattler right out on the trail he was walking.  Check this bad boy out her on Roger’s Facebook page.  You can scroll down to find it easily.  It’s worth checking out because my friend gives us all a real education about rattlers and how they truly are more afraid of us than vice-verse.  I’m going to take his experienced word for that.


With that in mind…my guess is the woman who found 45 rattlesnakes in her home was a lot more afraid of that swarm than vice versa.  Good grief.  It makes bears, and coyotes and raccoons seem pretty tame here in Tennessee.



The Dutchess of Sussex Meghan Markle took me down memory lane when she talked about eating mush.  I’m not sure if she fried it like we did growing up in Missouri…but it makes me want some this morning.  With syrup on top.  You just don’t walk into many places with a menu that has “mush” listed. 



File this one under ironic.  The CEO for AT&T Randall Stephenson was in a big meeting talking to folks yesterday when his cell phone rang and it was a robo-call.  It would be nice if he-they-someone could do something to stop that.  Thank goodness the names of people I know show up on my phone allowing me to ignore those who just keep robo-calling my phone.  My Blue Cross plan is fine…I don’t want to buy a time share in Florida….or contribute to your personal charity.  Thanks for asking though…again and again and again.



You thought bull fighting is insane? How about Bull Leaping.  Yes…it’s a thing.  Bull runs at ya…you try and leap over it.  Mexico should be favored for the gold medal I would think in the next Summer Olympics.  Wonder if the matadors are getting a shoe deal with Nike?



This woman apparently added collagen to her coffee.  My prediction is if she keeps doing this her lips will be too big for her coffee mug.



“Man Accidentally Shoots Himself After Throwing His Gun At A Cockroach He Was Trying To Kill”. 


I have a line in a comedy of mine “Can I Get An Amen” that may apply here.  The line is, “if you walk a tightrope without a net or jump a canyon on a bike, if you sleep and eat with Grizzly bears then you deserve to die”.  Can I get an Amen?



I’m off to write with my new friend who works at the Grand Ole Opry backstage Laura Leigh Jones.  It will be out third time rhyming today at the new Publishing Company I’m writing at.  Laura loves country, and bluegrass…and so do I.  So I’m trying to figure out if the story about the guy throwing his gun at a cockroach should be “country” or “bluegrass”.  I’ll let ya know which way we go.



As soon as that co-write is done I’ll be headed for the big screen to plop down and watch our little Belmont basketball team take on Maryland as March Madness really gets going today…with a lot of folks calling in sick to work.  You know who you are.


Have a great Thursday!













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