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Snow & Ice...More Gorilla Glue...Wrestling Bears

Feb 16 | Posted by: Bill Whyte |

Tuesday morning and it looks like a Hallmark Christmas card outside the windows.

 

YESTERDAY

With snow and ice here in Nashville my songwriting appointment was cancelled as was a lot of everything. On top of the snow and ice it was President’s Day so there was not a lot moving on the roads. It surely meant there were less mattress sales too. So I spent Monday catching up on stuff and there was a little stack of that “stuff” that I got cleared away. The rest of this week it’s cold, more chances of snow but by the weekend we’ll be up in the 50’s again with sun and all of this white stuff will be gone. We’re on the east side of Nashville which got off quite a bit easier than areas to the north and the west.

 

My friends Linda Davis and Lang Scott we’re out in it a bit yesterday and sent a video from Tractor Farm & Supply and asked if I need a drone to drop in anything for us? We live on a little mountain type curvy road that’s impossible to drive with any kind of snow and ice so I requested a generator and a hog trough since that’s where they were at. I’m looking for the drone…still.

 

WANNA GET WARMER?

Here’s a chance to do that. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are selling their private island home in the Bahamas. It only costs 35 million. So, if I can get about 1000 of you to split the cost with me, we can work out a time share plan.

 

VIRUS NOTES

THE U.S. seven-day average of daily new cases drops below 90,000. That’s the first time that’s happened since early November. It would surely be nice to see that trend continue.

 

One reporter claims that many Americans have “vaccine envy”. Envious of their friends who got it, but they can’t yet. (Good name for my new rock n roll band…” Vaccine Envy”.

 

And the bad news is that some scientists think the UK virus may be 70% deadlier than what we’ve been dealing with so far.

 

FAMOUS FOR BEING STUPID

This is really not a surprise. But the girl that did the Gorilla Glue thing to her head is already making lots of money and will make more in the future. She just got a celebrity management team to handle publicity and the sale of Gorilla Glue girl merchandise you’ll soon be able to buy. My guess is once you put one of her T-shirts on that it will be impossible to get off.

 

HIS CUP IS STUCKETH

One already has. A guy in Louisiana Gorilla Glued a cup to his head and had to have it removed in the hospital. I think Louisiana is where Gorilla Girl is from. Must be something they’re mixing into the red beans and rice these days down there.

 

I remember my parents telling me they rushed me to the hospital as a baby once for drinking kerosene out of a can that was near a stove at our house. If there had been Tik Tok and Instagram available I’d be filthy rich as “Kerosene Boy” right now.

 

THE WILL

Check you wills folks. Lots of weird stuff happens when someone passes and they read the will. Larry King who died recently looks to have had a secret will that left all of his money to his 5 kids. His widow Shawn King is contesting.

 

All of that to share this song that’s always made me laugh from my co-writer friend Gerald Smith who recorded “Where There’s A Will, There’s A Relative”.

 

Check your will kids.

 

LIVING ON A BUS

I have a great radio friend in North Carolina (a state that got whacked with tornados last night) who retired from the airwaves a few years ago. He and his wife live near the water down there but I think Jim Mantel got bored. The Hall of Fame broadcaster is selling everything and buying a motorhome and off they will go. BUT…he’s got a cool reason for trying that lifestyle. He’s an avid golfer and somehow got a job of rating golf courses. So, that’s what he’s going to do. Rate golf courses all over the country and he’ll get to play them for FREE!  That do not sucketh.

 

I’m not sure I could live long term in a mobile home. I have many friends who do that. Some love it, some discovered they didn’t and bought a house again. BUT…I think I could live in this DOUBLE DECKER BUS HOME that a couple in England built. It’s got a fireplace and a bathtub on the upper level where the views are pretty great. Proof that folks can be pretty danged innovative.

 

And you might as well build a bus into a house as lumber prices have hit an all-time high. 

 

STOCKS

Everyone has predicting a HUGE stock market correction now for years. Many got out thinking the market was overdue for a crash but it just keeps on going somehow. It’s amazed a layman like me for sure. And it will crash again someday but it doesn’t look to be in the near future as futures today have jumped up 200 before the market opens.

 

Motley Fool just printed an article titled: “Stop Waiting for the Stock Market Crash or You’ll Never Get Rich”.

 

I might need to finally sell that Beanie Baby collection and put it in the market.

 

PARROTS

And now for your Tuesday entertainment I give you a man playing guitar and his parrot singing and whistling with him to “Stairway to Heaven” I’d get a parrot but I really don’t want him singing some of my songs back at me like “Trailer Park Sexy” or “Men Fake It Too”.

 

WEIRD LAWS

There are a ton of really weird laws in this country that are still on the books for some reason. One of my favorites is that Oklahoma actually passed a law that makes wrestling bears illegal. They’ll fine and possibly jail you if they catch you in the backyard trying to jump off the top ropes to body slam a Grizzly. There was a time that so many Okies were participating that they passed a law to try and curtail it.

 

It does make one wonder how you get to a point in your life where you wake up and think, “Ya know what I’m a gonna do today”?

 

TODAY

I’m back on the computer with Brent Burns today as of all things he has a “love song” idea. We write a lot of beach songs. We certainly write a lot of funny songs. But love songs? Not so much. Somehow, I have a feeling the song will still wind up with a beach melody and a funny line or two in it. We’ll see.

 

Have a great Tuesday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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