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Parrot Rhyming...Dipstick...Uecker

Jan 27 | Posted by: Bill Whyte |

Hump Day…again. Looking out my little blogging window this morning the light of daybreak is dancing on Old Hickory Lake and looks beautiful. Mid 40’s for a high here today.

 

YESTERDAY

I wrote online with Irene Kelley and her parrot who was perched right over her shoulder. The bird was no help at all so we had to finish up an idea we had on our own. You just can’t get a parrot anymore that rhymes. He’d chime in and squawk a little but there just wasn’t anything useful coming out of his beak.  All good though as the song turned out great thanks to a beautiful melody Irene had constructed for this little waltz.  Pretty good way to kill some creative time on a Tuesday.

 

GAS

Notice the price is going up? $2.40 a gallon or so in some places now. I wrote a song about the high price of gas YEARS ago called “The Dipstick Song” that I put on my first comedy song CD. Every time gas prices rise the song becomes relevant again. I’ll be adding it back to my list of songs to perform next time I get to play out “live” …whenever that might be.

 

VIRUS NOTES

Trying to move lines and get the vaccines out quicker has turned out to be a logistical nightmare it seems for Washington. I’d mentioned here that Amazon Prime should get involved as one would be able to get the vaccine overnight with no shipping charge. Other’s joked that Chik fil A should help out as they absolutely understand how to move a line like nobody else. Well…that just happened. A church location in South Carolina had lines that took an hour to get through. They called a local Chik fil A manager and asked for his help. He went. It didn’t take long for lines to drop from a one hour wait to a 15-minute wait. Maybe the attendants taking your order in your car can give you a quick vaccine shot too.

 

Hopeful news. Eli Lilly now has a drug treatment for Covid-19 they say will keep 70% of those who get the virus out of the hospital.

 

United Airlines is apparently considering having all employees get the vaccine. Will that happen? Most Airlines are saying they will “encourage” but not “force” employees to get it.

 

I MUST BE ON THE FRONT ROW

Bob Uecker turned 87 years young yesterday. One of my favorite baseball people ever. He will start his 50th year of Major League broadcasting for the Milwaukee Brewers this year. I got to know him just a little bit when I was doing radio in Milwaukee. Interviewed him more than once. Always always funny and quick on his feet. And what a nice human being. He’s got a big boat and goes fishing on Lake Michigan and he told me a friend of his gave him a Louisville Slugger that he turned into a fishing rod that Bob could use to make people laugh…and he did…and does.

 

One week the TV station that carried the Milwaukee Brewers baseball games invited 5 sets of broadcasters to announce a half inning of baseball on television. My then radio partner Scott Dolphin and I jumped at the chance. I got to do a half inning with the Brewers TV color guy who was a young Matt Vasgersian at the time, and Scott got to do a half inning. During my half inning our guys hit a home run but the TV commercial ran long and by the time the cameras came on the guy was near second in his home run trot.  I MISSED a chance to call a homerun on TV!  And I complained bitterly about it on air…which made everyone laugh in the booth.

 

Bob Uecker’s radio booth was right next door. We could look over and watch a legend work. During a break we grabbed coffee in a little media area and Bob came in as he had an on-air break. And he made us laugh again.

 

So Happy belated birthday Mr. Baseball. Thanks for entertaining so many of us and making us laugh. And by the way, Bob went into the radio wing of the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown a few years ago and gave one of the most memorable funniest speeches ever. If you’ve never seen it take a second and watch.

 

VALENTINE

The pressure is getting real. Valentine’s Day is coming up guys. What to get her? I skimmed one article this morning titled “What She Really Wants for Valentine”. Bath salts, a weighted blanket and an annual park pass were all on the list.  And I’m thinking, if you give your girl and annual park pass for Valentine’s Day will she think you’re taking her to go take a hike? I think I’ll stick with bath salts to be safe.

 

SPEAKING OF LOVE

You know how Brides and Grooms smash a piece of cake in each other’s face? Yea…I’m not sure how that got started either. But, one Groom may have taken it a tad too far as he threw the entire three tier wedding cake into his bride’s face. Online folks told the bride she should dump in. She ignored it. They’re still married and she’s still cleaning cake off her face.

 

GETTING LOW

And now I give you Tim Storm .  I know…who?  This guy just hit the lowest note ever. A G-7 for all you music nerds. That’s low.  Really low.  Here’s how low that sounds. Put him on the bow of a ship and he can be your foghorn.

 

I’LL TAKE A JAR

Butterfingers is making their own peanut butter now and guess what it tastes like?  Uh huh. Like their candy bar. I can see putting a jar of that in the cupboard.

 

AND!

Kraft is selling “pink” candy mac and cheese for Valentine’s Day! I’m mac and cheese’s biggest fan and consumer. They just made my wife’s job very easy as to what to get me for Valentine Day. Considering that I’ve added a few lbs. since the pandemic started Bass Pro should make some “camo” mac and cheese” so I couldn’t see the dang bowl.

 

SPEAKING OF WHICH

Another article this morning honed in on trying to help us pick the best fitness mirror money can buy. Because of the pandemic a lot of folks have added some pounds from just not running like we used to.  Cooped up in our homes=weight gain. So I’m looking to buy one of those mirrors you see in the Fun House…that lies to you. I don’t mind lying mirrors or weight scales either one these days.

 

TODAY

I’m off to write with my friend Jenny Tolman this morning. Been a bit. She’s getting ready to go in studio with her fiancée-writer-producer Dave Brainerd and record a song we wrote together that the Opry legend Jeannie Seeley is going to sing on. Jeannie fell in love with the song after she heard it the first time so that’s really cool. Can’t wait to hear more about how they pulled that off.

 

Have a great Wednesday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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