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Songwriter Podcast Exercise...Old Folk Stuff...If I Was Jesus

Jan 14 | Posted by: Bill Whyte |

Friday morning and we’re looking at a snowy-rainy weekend ahead. We could get up to 5 inches…again. Sigh. That means we’ll be locked in for a while. That means all out panic here with folks flooding to the grocery stores again to grab whatever’s on the shelves right now. I’ve got three cans of Spam on the shelf. That should get us through.



My songwriting appointment was with Irene Kelley yesterday at my publishing company. She was running late BUT brought coffee and a great idea for a song. So, she can now be late anytime she wants to be. I had a chance to congratulate her in person for having last year’s most played bluegrass song “Wild Mountain Stream” that I WISH I would have written with her. She did tell me that she is going to record a song we’ve written together for her new album she’s working on, so I had a good day with her!



Then yesterday afternoon I joined my friend Brent Baxter and host Johnny Dwinell. Johnny was in northern California; Brent was in southern Missouri, and I was in middle Tennessee and through the miracle of digital technology we were all interacting at the same time for a podcast called The C.L.I.M.B. In this episode that you’ll be able to listen too soon, a listener of the show sends in a random song title, and then the invited guest songwriter along with regular Brent Baxter talk about how you might go about writing that song title. We had a very TOUGH title to make sense of. It was “People Are Cheap”. We beat up a bunch of angles in the 30-minute conversation and you’ll be able to hear our struggle a few ideas we did come up with when I post the podcast line coming soon. It was a challenge, but a very fun exercise and I hope the listeners will enjoy it.



The Supreme court shot down the mandatory vaccination thing for employers with 100 employees or more yesterday citing the President basically “overstepped” what he can do legally. So employers now have “freedom of choice” in that regard. Some will keep it; some will gladly drop that mandate.


In Wisconsin a lawmaker asked, “How can you stop a virus when you can’t even see it”? Uh huh. Nobody said you had to be Einstein to be elected to office.


More schools are shifting to remote learning and not because the schools don’t feel it’s safe to bring kids into school. It’s because of teacher shortages. Some of those teachers are walking out because they feel the schools are a Covid petri dish. So there’s that.



Simon Cowell proposed to his girlfriend Lauren Silverman. She got a nice rock for her finger. 2.5 million dollars’ worth of a diamond ring. Proof that I have a great wife. She seems to love the ring I got her when I asked her to marry me. It was quite the effort to get it too. I think I remember trying 11 or 12 times before I managed to get one in that Claw machine at the mall. It was worth the effort.



If you’re on your computer a lot like I am, this Maxtand 2.0 adjustable standing desk that’s portable might be cool. $120 or so retail. It would elevate your laptop to eye level which would do away with your head and neck craning downwards all the time. Chiropractors might hate it because they would lose a lot of neck adjustment appointments if a lot of folks bought them. Honey, ya know what I want for Valentine Day?



There are some sure-fire signs you’re getting older. I would know.


If you start saying “back in the day” a lot…that’s a sign.


If you walk by bathrooms and think, “I might as well pee since I’m here”?  Yep, that’s a sign too.


And my favorite. When folks start saying to you, “You look good for your age”. A sure fire sign.



Oh kids do throw fits and temper tantrums. Every parent has endured that. Including this very clever female new anchor who’s 2-year-old threw a big hissy fit at an Olive Garden. What did her mom do? She reverted to her broadcasting expertise and pretended she was “live” on the air covering the event. And it went viral. Being in radio for a ton of years, it made me wonder, “Why in the world didn’t I think of that”. Cover the event and then toss it to the traffic guy. My applause goes to that news anchor.



Miranda Lambert’s new single is titled “If I Were a Cowboy”. Like all other Miranda songs I’m sure it will be a big hit. But it got to me thinking how the “If I Were…or Was” thing is used by songwriters with several songs being written that way. On my first comedy album “Off the Wall” I have a song titled “If I Had Boobs” that Cledus T. Judd also recorded.


And a couple of my favorite in that vein would be the Lyle Lovett song, “If I Had a Boat” and certainly this one that Toby Keith recorded, “If I Was Jesus. Chuck Cannon is the writer of that song, and his “live” version is worth you checking out. Not only is the song great, but Chuck’s story about using Jesus on his dad to try and convince him to buy him a car is really funny. Click the link to watch and listen.



Farandwide.com just ranked their top 25 museums in the United States. I like museums. Art being my least favorite, Aircraft museums would be closer to the top of my list. Here’s the top 5, and I was curious to see how many if any I’ve been to.


5 The Holocaust Museum in D.C. (nope…but I hear it’s powerfully moving)

4 Museum of American History D.C. (Yes)

3 Art Institute of Chicago (did I mention I’m not big on art museums?)

2 Museum of Modern Art New York (read the above comment)


And their number one choice for best museum in the country is:

The Metropolitan Museum of Art-New York.


So of the top 5, I’ve seen on. I’ve seen a lot more in the top 25. Here’s the entire LIST.



Though I’m not likely to go to an art museum anytime soon, I’ll be looking for an excuse to go to Spring Hill, TN south of Nashville to check out Mama D’s Baked Mac n Cheese restaurant! Can’t wait. One of the choices is the BBQ Mac & Cheese. On my order list already.



I’m online writing again with my Pennsylvania bluegrass buddy Troy Engle who plays every single string instrument you can imagine. Yes, I’m jealous. Should be fun again to see what we come up with. One title we will NOT tackle will be “People Are Cheap”.


And this weekend the NFL playoffs are on so if you need to reach me for any reason?  Call my couch. That’s 1-800-COUCH.


Have a great weekend.

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